Full Moon in Capricorn

Really sweet ritual last night with Lap of the Goddess. Carolyn always explains the polarity of the solar and lunar placements before the ritual gets started. The sun is in Cancer, the natal home of the moon, one of the most watery signs, a emblem of motherhood, emotional protection, nurturing and love. It's also a highly psychic sign. Meanwhile, the full moon is/was in stable, organized Capricorn. So, Carolyn explained the polarity as being about how to lovingly take care of business. How do we ground ourselves efficiently and practically while maintaining a sense of self-care?

Coupled with this energy, we called upon Mnemosyne, goddess of memory and mother of the muses. Mnemosyne helps us to remember our gifts, our true selves so that we can go about the business of getting inspired and creative. In our daily lives, there's a real danger of losing sight of our beauty as we hustle to take care of all our myriad projects. In last night's journey to the moon beach with the Goddess, we asked her to help us to remember and celebrate the things we've accomplished and to remember and release those things that must go. We used a ritual oil infused with rosemary ("for remembrance" Ophelia's mad scene, Act 4) and took frankincense beads to represent and "finish" the work we did in the journey.

This proved to be a night of emotional work for me. I ended up calling the western/water quarter, so that seemed to emphasize my own Moon in Cancer wateriness. In my journey, the goddess told me not to beat myself up for not accomplishing more this year; she reminded me of the trauma I've been going through and emphasized that things like that need time and space to heal. That I'm doing as well as I am is laudable. Then she showed me my dog who passed away back in 2003 and she told me that if I need inspiration for my creative projects, I should know that Buttons is my Muse, my guide. I have never thought of that before -- it never occurred to me to think about a dog in that way. But as I was reflecting on our experience, I realized that my creativity comes from a deeply emotional place and that to be able to really flow, I need to be able to feel good about my emotional health (I don't mean happy all the time -- I mean clear, expressive and confident that I remain standing though the wind and water whip around me).

I loved that dog like it was my child, and I still long for her from time to time. Until this year I've never really had a reason to hate anyone. Despite my "right" to hate the yucky people, I have felt that a part of myself was so wounded and afraid . . . remembering Buttons was a reminder that I still have the same, full capacity to love. I am still passionate and nurturing and blessed with the sense to know how to make a place for people (and animals!) in my heart. Not everyone deserves to be there -- but some do. Some never leave.